Confessions of a Pastor

Hello. My name is Kyle. I am a pastor. And I am a quitter. Quitting became easy for me growing up with 2 older brothers. Playing tag with older brothers and neighborhood friends was all-too-often a demotivating experience. I sometimes get the urge to quit on God. This urge to quit is an issue that all believers have to deal with in life. One of the most tiring games is chasing God.
Does it ever seem like God is up in Heaven playing around with you and screaming "Tag! You're it! No tag-backs!"? One of the Church's most Godly saints and Church Fathers, Anselm, had similar thoughts about God. He wrote:
"Oh Lord my God, teach my heart where and how to seek you, where and how to find you...
My heart longs to see you, but your face is too far away.
I want to have access to you, but your presence is inaccessible.
I want to find you, but I do not know where you are.
I love to seek you, but I do not know your face.
Lord, you are my Lord and my God, and I have never seen you.
You have created me and re-created me,
All the good that I have comes from you, and I still do not know you.
I was created to see you, and I have not accomplished that for which I was made."
Chances are, if one of the giants of Church history like Anselm struggled with the chase, you will too. Maybe that's the way God intended it to be. The Bible is full of men and women who lived their whole lives reaching for an invisible God. The Christian life is based on the invisible. I think one of the keys to maturity as a Christian is to shift our focus from the visible to the invisible, from the seen to the unseen.

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." - Hebrews 11:6

The writer of Hebrews lets us in on a secret to the chase: God will let Himself be found by those who seek Him with all their hearts. Jesus came to earth to help us in our chase. God came out of "hiding" and allowed Himself to be seen, touched, heard, and embraced by those who were tired, distraught, wounded, forgotten, lonely, and sincere. So for those who are tired, lonely, abused, neglected, depressed, and distraught- don't give up seeking Him out. He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. And what is the reward? Himself.

Check out Hebrews 11-12:3 if you're ready to give up in your search for God.